Welcome to The Cheap Seats

I wanted to be a Major League Baseball player when I grew up. That was it. There were no other options. There was no Plan B. But somewhere around my second year as the utility player on my high school baseball team (I played left bench, scorekeeper, right bench, first base coach, and left out), I realized that my dream probably wasn’t meant to be. And even though I went on to enjoy a relatively successful intra-mural career (winning two softball titles in college and three flag-football titles in law school), my most valuable sports contribution has always been, and will continue to be, my fanhood.

But here’s the thing: I lived in Denver until I was seven, Northern California till I was 10, Southern California through college, spent law school in Chicago, and now live in Washington DC. So needless to say, my taste in sports teams is a bit eclectic. At various times in my life I have rooted for the Broncos, Cubs, Buffaloes, Dodgers, Avalanche, Bruins, 49ers, Rockies, Lakers, Angels, Bears, Nuggets, and Nationals, not necessarily in that order. To be honest, I’m a bit of a mess.

So what does this mean for you? It means that at certain points during our time together, you may feel confused, angry, and maybe even betrayed by my columns. You may feel frustrated by my flexible fanhood, perplexed by my pliable passions, or astounded by my amazing ability to apply alliterative adjectives to almost any action, affair, or accomplishment (sorry, I got carried away).

But to make this a little easier for you (and to give myself some credibility as a sports fan), I should tell you that, despite this tumultuous sports ride, I have developed some ground rules. Specifically, there are five non-negotiable principles that truly define who I am as a fan.

Number one: I am, above all else, a sports fan. My big three are baseball, football, and golf, but other than the WNBA, I’ll watch just about anything.

Number two: I bleed Dodger Blue. The Rockies didn’t come to Denver until after I left, and my parents both grew up in Southern California, so I was raised a Dodger fan. Not that I didn’t love the Blake Street Bombers and root like hell during Rocktober, but the Rockies have to be number two, sorry. And yes, I realize they are in the same division, and I know that sometimes I write about the Rockies. Like I said, it’s complicated.

Number three: I also bleed Orange. As a kid growing up in Denver in the 1980s, being a Broncos fan wasn’t really an option. “Super Bowl” was a dirty word until 1998, “Three Amigos” never referred to Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, or Martin Short, and there are rumors that I once (or twice) grew a mullet to honor John Elway. This is just how things were done.

Number four: U-C-L-A Go! Fight! Win! Like I said, my parents grew up in SoCal. Dad went to UCLA. Then my older cousins went to UCLA. Then my friends from high school went to UCLA. Then I went to UCLA. Then more friends from high school went to UCLA. Then my brother went to UCLA. Then my younger cousins went to UCLA. All told, my family has nearly one dozen Bruins, and has had a continuous presence on campus since the late nineties. So yeah, I’m a fan.

Number five: I detest all things Giant, Raider, and Trojan. See rules two through four above.

So you see, I’m not a lost cause. I do have some ground rules. Yes, my fanhood has some flexibility at the margins, but give me the Dodgers, Broncos, Bruins, and not the WNBA, and I’m a happy man.

So that’s it. That’s what you need to know. I will discuss many topics and say many ridiculous things in the days, weeks, and months to come, but you have my word that those five principles will never change.

Oh, and one more thing: I started writing because I wanted to talk about sports. So if you have something to say, don’t be shy. Post it on the site or send me an email. I’d love to hear compliments, criticisms, column ideas, or anything else you want to discuss. Just let me know.

And thanks for visiting The Cheap Seats. I hope you enjoy the view.