November 15, 2009

Views From the Cheap Seats

Some thoughts on a few of the goings on in the world of sports over the past week:

Up and Down in Denver

It was a bit of an up-and-down week for Broncos fans. The good news was that on Thursday night, Jay Cutler threw 5 interceptions en route to a 10-6 loss to the San Francisco 49ers. The better news was that, two days later, when I clicked into the ESPN ScoreCenter, the following message popped up: "Did you know that Jay Cutler is on pace to throw 30 picks this season?" I stared at that message and smiled for a good 45 seconds. 30 picks! That’s awesome!

The bad news, however, was that on Sunday the Broncos lost a football game to the Washington Redskins. Yes, those Washington Redskins. And because Kyle Orton added injury to insult, Chris Simms may be our quarterback next week when we play the San Diego Chargers with first place in the AFC West on the line.

So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

The Comeback Kid

Last Wednesday baseball fans everywhere received good news when the Seattle Mariners announced that Ken Griffey Jr. will return for the 2010 campaign. He won’t make much money, and he may not get much playing time, but The Kid loves the game too much to stay away, and he wants one more shot at a title.

And while we’re talking about the star of the 1989 Upper Deck baseball card set, let me say this: As we begin to sort out the mess that is/was baseball’s steroids era, I am convinced that no one will come out looking better than Junior. He is one of a handful of players that is basically beyond reproach when it comes to steroids. No one, and I mean no one, has ever seriously accused him of juicing. And, despite several injury-plagued seasons in the prime of his career, Griffey still put up astronomical numbers, and became only the fourth man without testicular shrinkage to hit 600 homeruns. So when baseball historians look for the superstar of the steroids generation, this is the guy they’re going to pick. Congratulations Junior, it’s a pleasure to have you back.

Another Arrest Michael?

Mike Tyson was arrested again this week after allegedly scuffling with a paparazzi photographer at LAX. Now I understand that no one in their right mind would ever side with a paparazzi photographer, but Mike Tyson needs another run-in with the law about as much as he needs another tattoo on his face. To borrow an old Chris Rock joke: “Another arrest Michael? Another arrest? That’s like another dead white girl at OJ’s house.”

And You Thought Your Week Was Bad

Back in the bad news department, it was a tough week to be a Tennessee football fan. Not only did Tennessee get trounced by Ole Miss on Saturday, but earlier in the week, three of their football players were arrested in Knoxville and charged with attempted armed robbery.

Then again, what did they expect from a program run by a man whose last college coaching job was at the University of Southern California? I mean, I’m not saying that USC is a dirty football program, but let’s just say that . . . well, actually, that’s exactly what I’m saying. USC is the dirtiest sports programs this side of Ohio State and everybody knows it. So seriously, what did Tennessee expect?

And by the way, in case you’re wondering if the only reason I mentioned this Tennessee story was to give myself an opportunity to take a jab at USC, the answer is 100% yes. In reality, I don’t have anything against Lane Kiffin, nor do I have any reason to believe that he runs a dirty football program. You know, except for the fact that he used to coach at USC.