Views From the Cheap Seats

Some thoughts on a few of last week’s events in the world of sports:

Urban Meyer

Obviously this is where I’m going to start. For those who might have been doing Christmassy things last weekend instead of watching ESPN, on Saturday night Urban Meyer announced that, after the University of Florida’s upcoming Sugar Bowl appearance on Friday, he would no longer be the head football coach at UF. Then, on Sunday, he changed his mind.

On Saturday night (when Meyer was still leaving), my first thought was that he had had an affair. With Tim Tebow. And of course the report that Urban Meyer was resigning because of a heart muscle defect only added fuel to my fire. Seriously, do you have any idea how many times I made the “Tim Tebow leaving Florida literally broke Urban Meyer’s heart” joke on Saturday night?

After I settled down, I started to think about who might replace Meyer. Names I assumed I would hear in the coming week as potential candidates: Bob Stoops, Jon Gruden, Mike Shanahan, Steve Spurier, Dan Mullen, and Charlie Strong. The name I was 100% sure I would not hear in the coming week: Charlie Weiss.

All of this speculation proved moot, however, when Urban Meyer gave us his best Brett Favre impersonation Sunday afternoon. It’s not exactly clear what Urban Meyer’s plans are now, but until he makes another announcement, we can undoubtedly look forward to countless hours of analysis from Lou Holtz. Awesome.

Da Bulls

Last week the Chicago Bulls blew a 35-point third-quarter lead to the Sacramento Kings, ultimately losing the game by 4 points. The next day, the PTI boys debated whether Vinny Del Negro should be fired for the loss (and because his team is lousy). And while I have the utmost respect for Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon, the implication that a coach should be blamed for a group of professional basketball players blowing a lead that huge is absurd. I understand that in today’s win-or-go-home sports world everybody blames the coaches for everything, but at some point we have to place some of the blame on the players, right? These are professional athletes. If they can’t play hard enough to hold on to a 35-point lead over the Sacramento Kings, then they have much bigger problems than the coach.

Ohio State West

I have made no secret of my dislike for all things Pete Carroll, but amid all of the controversy surrounding the latest USC football scandal, T.J. Simers raised a good question last week: Where has USC’s athletic director Mike Garrett been in all of this? As much as I like to watch Pete Carroll suffer, I can admit that the man has single-handedly returned USC to national prominence and, as Simers points out, probably saved Mike Garrett’s job in the process. And yet, this year, when things haven’t quite gone as planned for the Trojans, Garrett is nowhere to be found. Interesting.

Bowl Games

Also of note for USC fans last week, the Trojans beat Boston College in the Emerald Bowl. No seriously, they did. What’s that you say? You haven’t heard of the Emerald Bowl? You didn’t realize that they played bowl games before January 1? Ouch.

In related news, UCLA plays in the Eagle Bank Bowl today against Temple. Ouch.

And finally, in honor of the bowl season, the NFL decided to turn some of its Week 16 games into bowl games. Seriously, they gave certain matchups big fancy names and everything. Since I assume most of you didn't see this, here are some of the highlights:

- San Diego Chargers vs. Tennessee Titans: The Sure They Look Good Now, But Wait Till the Chargers Collapse in the Playoffs Like They Do Every Year Bowl

- Buffalo Bills vs. Atlanta Falcons: The Who Would Win in a Fight, O.J. Simpson or Michael Vick? Bowl

- Jacksonville Jaguars vs. New England Patriots: The Yep, the Patriots Are Still Pretty Good Bowl

- Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. New Orleans Saints: The Remember That Time We Were 13 and 0? Bowl (Incidentally, Saints fans have no reason to worry. The 1999 Broncos went 13-0, then lost the next two, then won the Super Bowl. I mean, we had John Elway, but still, don’t worry New Orleans, everything will be fine.)

- Detroit Lions vs. San Francisco 49ers: The This Would Have Been a Much Better Game 15 Years Ago Bowl

- New York Jets vs. Indianapolis Colts (sort of): The We Never Cared About 16 and 0 Anyway Bowl

- Seattle Seahawks vs. Green Bay Packers: The I Wish Mike Holmgren Was Still Our Head Coach Bowl

- Oakland Raiders vs. Cleveland Browns: The At Least We’re Not the Rams or the Lions Bowl

- Dallas Cowboys vs. Washington Redskins: The Boy, I Sure Hope Mike Shanahan is My Head Coach Next Year Bowl